mishisings: (Jimothy)
Yesterday I googled "How to make a paladin Fall." Turns out, not as easily as I thought, but I did learn some interesting things. There are two types of paladins: rule-of-law paladins, who follow external laws set by their order or other authority they respect, and personal-code paladins, who, well, follow their own personal code. Ajantis is pretty clearly a rule-of-law paladin, but we might safely convert him to being a personal-code paladin without losing the more holy benefits of his 'lay on hands' ability.


You don't hear about many mad clerics these days. Usually it's mad mages. Nice to see the other side getting some representation.




Silke is really, really dumb. Garrick doesn't even help her out; she's just one woman against five adventurers, and she goes down fairly easy, but not before getting off a really nasty spell that took a great big chunk out of Imoen's HP.

We get the 400 gp she had on her, as well as a +1 quarterstaff which Jim immediately appropriates (+1 stick, woo!), and a potion of invulnerability which we give to Ajantis for now. The 'thugs' give us a defense potion for saving them from Silke. As for Garrick...


I mean, she does. You're kinda spoony for my tastes. Look, you can join, but I expect a higher degree of commitment than you gave to Silke, understand? And if you make Imoen cry I will make you regret it dearly. I will keep you prisoner for as long as it takes for me to learn how to call meteors from the sky. And then I will call ten of them right onto your head. And then I will bury you in an unmarked, shallow grave, at a crossroads.

Oh my gods, Jimmie, stop being so embarrassing. I can look after myself, you know.

Welcome aboard, Garrick.


So this is Garrick. He's the last of our temporary party members, unless you guys prefer someone else, or he really does turn out to be too spoony. He's a bard, which means he's a sub-par fighter, a sub-par mage, and a sub-par thief all in one. His only thief skill is pickpocket, he can't cast any spells at level one, and his strength and constitution are not really optimal for a fighter. Might as well be a fighter/mage/thief, but no NPC, modded or vanilla, in any of the games, has that as a class. On top of that, I don't really trust that alignment. I didn't notice it until just now but. Chaotic Neutral is the weirdest alignment.

So why'd we pick him up? Because Imoen asked nicely.

When we enter the inn we'd been fighting next to, we're accosted by another assassin.


Ajantis is totally sweet. Jim acts tough and runs away to let her companions swarm the assassin lest he depletes all 5 of her HP in one hit, then helps by shooting an arrow. On his body we find...


Another wanted notice.

Hey, your bounty went up.

A whole extra one hundred and fifty gold pieces. Flattering.

What is this?! This is a 'wanted' description of you, Lady Jimothy. An evil enemy wants you dead, so it seems! Let us carry on with our search and not be discouraged by such developments. We are on the right path, and this enemy will be defeated in the end.

An 'evil enemy'?

Redundant, I know, but I like to cover all my bases.

We had extra help in that last battle.


I have a list of future works to collect and my latest book in hand. I am free as a bird to continue my journey searching for the others. You... you have recently come from the road. Perhaps you could use my skills if more assassins give you trouble? It is a dangerous time to travel the Sword Coast alone, and I confess I have not enjoyed my solitude this trip as much as in the past.

Sorry, Finch. We're full up. Maybe if Garrick dies we'll take you with us.


Yeah, sorry, that was crossing the line. I'm watching you, but I wouldn't want you to die in order to replace you with someone else. Even if that someone else can carry all our scrolls and stuff. And heal us. And call upon the god of librarians to make all enemy mages mute.

Are you sure you don't mind me coming with you?

Oh, sure, didn't I welcome you?

Oh, that is a bit of a disappointment. I had such high hopes... If you reconsider, I may be here a while longer. The barkeep's son has been having trouble learning his alphabet. Reading and writing are fundamentals, you know!

And in the tavern's darkest corner, we find our dealer.


So, you sold that potion to him knowing that would happen? That's a little far for a practical joke.

Tulbor: Did I say any of that? I don't have to tell you anything. Do you have any evidence against me? Hm, you tell me. So, what are you still doing here? Go away and leave me alone... unless you want to buy me a drink of course.

Not so fast, Turgid.

Tulbor: It's Tulbor.

Exhibit A: The empty bottle. You'll notice the label is marked with a T. The rest of the name is illegible, but I'm sure you'd recognize your own signature. You are the guy who sells these things, after all.

Tulbor: oh, please... T as in Tulbor... So what? Could be T as in Torm, too. Why don't you go and ask him, then?

I'm not finished. Exhibit B: Eltolth's diary. Here's your name, clearly spelled.

Tulbor: Oh, how sweet. He mentioned me in his his *diary*

You are slimier than Eltolth is right now. It's right here, he says he bought the potion from you! Now you're going to tell me how to reverse the effect or I'm going to get... unpleasant.

Tulbor: Oh, dear, how pathetic. Now you listen: maybe I sold this elixir to Eltolth, but there was nothing wrong with that! I'm no criminal... the potion was absolutely fine! "Ah, now this potion *does* work... Let's take another sip... Ah, and another one... and another... But ooh, what happens now? I *told* him to be careful, not to overdose. Now he has to live with the consequences. That's my selling principle: no warranty! He knew that, so if he is in need of an antidote he has to pay for it like every decent customer!

I can't believe I'm asking this, but do you have the antidote?

Tulbor: Ah, you are a lucky one: I can offer you the last sample. It'll be yours for the amount of 100 gold pieces.

100 gold? But- fine. 100 gold for the antidote and for you to get out of my face.

Tulbor: It was a pleasure doing business with you. Oh, and make sure he takes *all* of it! Goodbye.

That guy was so gross.

NEXT: Jim Plays Matchmaker, Again.
mishisings: (Jimothy)
Next stop: The infirmary. This place is super-easy to miss. I think my first two playthroughs I didn't even realize you could enter this building.


In the base game, the only things of interest there are a priest of Ohgma who will give you a potion if you ask him to, and a desk that can be unlocked and stolen from, though you have to be careful the guards aren't alerted. (If you're caught, the Watchers say they don't care who your foster father is, lawbreakers will not be tolerated, and demand you give them all your money. If you refuse, it's possible to die in the tutorial area like a chump.) We get another health potion out of the deal. With only five hp, we need all the help we can get.

But our main goal in coming in here wasn't health potions.


But... that was a compliment. I honestly wasn't trying to make fun, why would you even think that? Look, no offense meant. I talked with your fiancee. She doesn't feel well at all.

Sir Trun: *sigh* I know, and it tortures me that I am incapable of helping her. It... it is like I am paralyzed... My injury is no reason for my behaviour toward her. I... I fell in love with a beautiful young maiden and proposed to her, and now...

You can't handle the thought that she might be stronger than you?

Sir Trun: No, no, not that. I... *sigh* Since she already talked to you, it won't hurt if I do so, too. Actually I feel a great urge to talk about this with someone who cares to listen.

Sir Trun: We got into an unexpected fight. Everything was going well. Then all of a sudden, one of the creatures sunk its teeth into my arm. I wasn't able to free myself, and it was dragging me toward the portal... There was a pain at my shoulder, and the next thing I knew, I was lying in front of the portal, watching it close behind the last of the monters. Linda was standing beside me, pale as a ghost, my sword in her hands. She saved my life the only way it was possible in that moment, by chopping off my arm.


This option is unbelievable. Who talks like this? But it's the least offensive of the dialogue options that aren't "fuck if I know, good luck with your life, buddy" so we take it.


If Broken Forum has taught me anything, it's that good communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Also, never trust a partridge.

Sir Trun: We tried talking, but it didn't work. No, I have to bring something with me when I go to her. If only I could think of something appropriate...

She sounds like a badass, it physically hurts to see her torn up about something this stupid. I can only see one possibility. You're going to teach her how to fight. Take her as your squire.

Sir Trun: I beg your pardon? That is absurd. She is a young maiden, innocent and frail...

Do you even notice the shit coming out of your mouth? She chopped off your arm in one hit!

Sir Trun: Wait... I... I see what you mean. It is hidden inside her, isn't it? The gift shows differently in different people. Some know from early childhood where their path will lead. For others, the revelation comes all of a sudden, as a great surprise. Yes, it seems the only way to go forward, and leave this horrible memory behind us. She made the first step onto this path. To expect her to return to her former life would be cruel... and unrealistic. I will go to her now. I'll be approaching her with an unusual present for a woman of her origin: my sword.

Sir Trun: My body recovered a long time ago. It was my mind that felt injured and wouldn't come to rest. You dragged me out of my thoughts of despair, and I thank you deeply! We are in your debt. Now I will go to her... I am eager to see how she will react. Is she really ready for this? I am also bothered as to what I will tell her parents, who imagine their daughter on an educational journey in Candlekeep... *weary smile* Farewell, in case we don't meet again. May Tyr protect you.

We gain a small boost in reputation and 150 exp from this exchange.


Now that I've hugged Mrs. Stabby and I've got all my gear, I just need to say goodbye to one other person. I bet she's ditching chores in the bunkhouse.


Fuck, another one of these guys?

This one gets a lucky critical and hits her for 4 hp. Lucky we stole that potion. Two more whacks with her stick and he's down for the count, just like the other guy, though.

Y'know, I always thought it was weird how everyone in Candlekeep carried a stick around, even the guards, but now I'm starting to see why they all swear by it.


The moment we leave the bunkhouse we run into Linda again.


Linda: Maybe... maybe he will fall in love with his fighting squire just as he fell in love with the maiden once... Maybe. For now he has a task as a knight, as do I as squire. May Lathander bless you with all his power. Farewell.

Uh, no problem. Hope things work out for you. Though if he acts like you're a different person now that you're his squire, I wouldn't hold my breath.


On our way to see Gorion, we pass by these guys. They're the Chanters, they just sing the Prophecies of the Wise Alaundo, all day, every day. The first time I encountered them I was like "What is this racket. Is my game broken?" but now their chanting is music to my ears. I dunno how it happened, they just grew on me.


Over this way is proof that I have no self-control. While I was looking for BGTutu mods I came across this NPC mod called Finch. She's a gnome librarian companion and I couldn't resist installing her. Since she's not romanceable and we're going to have enough trouble juggling party members as it is, we won't be seeing much of her, but I figured I'd introduce her just the same. In the interest of making this Candlekeep sequence a little less boring.

Why? It's really just a boring little castle town.

The wondrous books! Rows and stacks of scroll casings and leather-bound volumes covering every subject under the sun and stars! I can imagine no greater joy than the opportunity to learn something new with each passing day. Perhaps that explains why I found my heart's home in the service of Deneir.

Ah, you're a cleric of Deneir. No wonder you love this place.

Truly, my brief time here in your home town has been a great joy. I can imagine no finer occupation than living with my nose in a book! Alas, I have dallied in Candlekeep longer than I should have in service t of my temple, though I am certain Deneir would understand. Anyhoo, I leave with all haste. I have a list of works needed to establish a new library on the Amnish border. I located a likely seller of one volume in Beregost, so off I go!

And she heads off.

Can we get going now? Please? I've killed 6 rats, two assassins, done pretty much everyone's petty errands, and we need to get going before the Gatewarden tries to teach me about group combat like I haven't heard his lecture ten million times befo-

Heya, it's me, Imoen!

NEXT: Yes, Imoen, We Know It's You


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