Mishi's Journal of Stuff

Yesterday I googled "How to make a paladin Fall." Turns out, not as easily as I thought, but I did learn some interesting things. There are two types of paladins: rule-of-law paladins, who follow external laws set by their order or other authority they respect, and personal-code paladins, who, well, follow their own personal code. Ajantis is pretty clearly a rule-of-law paladin, but we might safely convert him to being a personal-code paladin without losing the more holy benefits of his 'lay on hands' ability.



You don't hear about many mad clerics these days. Usually it's mad mages. Nice to see the other side getting some representation.







Silke is really, really dumb. Garrick doesn't even help her out; she's just one woman against five adventurers, and she goes down fairly easy, but not before getting off a really nasty spell that took a great big chunk out of Imoen's HP.

We get the 400 gp she had on her, as well as a +1 quarterstaff which Jim immediately appropriates (+1 stick, woo!), and a potion of invulnerability which we give to Ajantis for now. The 'thugs' give us a defense potion for saving them from Silke. As for Garrick...



I mean, she does. You're kinda spoony for my tastes. Look, you can join, but I expect a higher degree of commitment than you gave to Silke, understand? And if you make Imoen cry I will make you regret it dearly. I will keep you prisoner for as long as it takes for me to learn how to call meteors from the sky. And then I will call ten of them right onto your head. And then I will bury you in an unmarked, shallow grave, at a crossroads.

Oh my gods, Jimmie, stop being so embarrassing. I can look after myself, you know.

Welcome aboard, Garrick.



So this is Garrick. He's the last of our temporary party members, unless you guys prefer someone else, or he really does turn out to be too spoony. He's a bard, which means he's a sub-par fighter, a sub-par mage, and a sub-par thief all in one. His only thief skill is pickpocket, he can't cast any spells at level one, and his strength and constitution are not really optimal for a fighter. Might as well be a fighter/mage/thief, but no NPC, modded or vanilla, in any of the games, has that as a class. On top of that, I don't really trust that alignment. I didn't notice it until just now but. Chaotic Neutral is the weirdest alignment.

So why'd we pick him up? Because Imoen asked nicely.


When we enter the inn we'd been fighting next to, we're accosted by another assassin.



Ajantis is totally sweet. Jim acts tough and runs away to let her companions swarm the assassin lest he depletes all 5 of her HP in one hit, then helps by shooting an arrow. On his body we find...



Another wanted notice.

Hey, your bounty went up.

A whole extra one hundred and fifty gold pieces. Flattering.

What is this?! This is a 'wanted' description of you, Lady Jimothy. An evil enemy wants you dead, so it seems! Let us carry on with our search and not be discouraged by such developments. We are on the right path, and this enemy will be defeated in the end.

An 'evil enemy'?

Redundant, I know, but I like to cover all my bases.

We had extra help in that last battle.



I have a list of future works to collect and my latest book in hand. I am free as a bird to continue my journey searching for the others. You... you have recently come from the road. Perhaps you could use my skills if more assassins give you trouble? It is a dangerous time to travel the Sword Coast alone, and I confess I have not enjoyed my solitude this trip as much as in the past.

Sorry, Finch. We're full up. Maybe if Garrick dies we'll take you with us.

What?

Yeah, sorry, that was crossing the line. I'm watching you, but I wouldn't want you to die in order to replace you with someone else. Even if that someone else can carry all our scrolls and stuff. And heal us. And call upon the god of librarians to make all enemy mages mute.

Are you sure you don't mind me coming with you?

Oh, sure, didn't I welcome you?

Oh, that is a bit of a disappointment. I had such high hopes... If you reconsider, I may be here a while longer. The barkeep's son has been having trouble learning his alphabet. Reading and writing are fundamentals, you know!

And in the tavern's darkest corner, we find our dealer.



So, you sold that potion to him knowing that would happen? That's a little far for a practical joke.

Tulbor: Did I say any of that? I don't have to tell you anything. Do you have any evidence against me? Hm, you tell me. So, what are you still doing here? Go away and leave me alone... unless you want to buy me a drink of course.

Not so fast, Turgid.

Tulbor: It's Tulbor.

Exhibit A: The empty bottle. You'll notice the label is marked with a T. The rest of the name is illegible, but I'm sure you'd recognize your own signature. You are the guy who sells these things, after all.

Tulbor: oh, please... T as in Tulbor... So what? Could be T as in Torm, too. Why don't you go and ask him, then?

I'm not finished. Exhibit B: Eltolth's diary. Here's your name, clearly spelled.

Tulbor: Oh, how sweet. He mentioned me in his his *diary*

You are slimier than Eltolth is right now. It's right here, he says he bought the potion from you! Now you're going to tell me how to reverse the effect or I'm going to get... unpleasant.

Tulbor: Oh, dear, how pathetic. Now you listen: maybe I sold this elixir to Eltolth, but there was nothing wrong with that! I'm no criminal... the potion was absolutely fine! "Ah, now this potion *does* work... Let's take another sip... Ah, and another one... and another... But ooh, what happens now? I *told* him to be careful, not to overdose. Now he has to live with the consequences. That's my selling principle: no warranty! He knew that, so if he is in need of an antidote he has to pay for it like every decent customer!

I can't believe I'm asking this, but do you have the antidote?

Tulbor: Ah, you are a lucky one: I can offer you the last sample. It'll be yours for the amount of 100 gold pieces.

100 gold? But- fine. 100 gold for the antidote and for you to get out of my face.

Tulbor: It was a pleasure doing business with you. Oh, and make sure he takes *all* of it! Goodbye.

That guy was so gross.




NEXT: Jim Plays Matchmaker, Again.

I know it's you, Imoen. Who else would wear something so obnoxiously pink? Not to mention I've known you my entire life.

Just in case you lost your memory.

Why the hell would I lose my memory? And where have you been all this time? I've been looking all over for you.



Can I just say that I really hate these responses? They're so... puffed up, to borrow an expression from from our current interlocutor. We won't always get these kinds of pompous choices, but when we do, I reserve my right to paraphrase.

I can't talk long, kid. I'm going on a trip with Gorion, but he won't tell me where.

Kid? I'm not much younger than you, though you sure got tall fast. Relatively, anyway. A journey, eh? I never get to travel. Wish I could go with ya. Yep, i really wish I could. Yessir. Really do.

All right all right. I get the message. I'll ask if you can go with us.

Oh, don't be silly, Gorion would never let you finish the sentence. Especially after what that letter of his said... er... did I say that? No, of course I didn't. Never saw no letter. Nope. I'll just get back to work now. You had better go. Gorion is waiting.

Yeah... Take care of yourself while I'm gone, will you?

Sure thing, Jimmie!

Hey, watch it! You're the only person who can call me that, got it?

With nothing left to do, we can at last approach Gorion.



Can you at least tell me where we're going?

Alas, I cannot, for I have not truly decided yet. All that is certain is that we will be far safer on the move. Perhaps the woods might offer some secluded security, or perhaps the city of Baldur's Gate would offer cover amidst its teeming throngs of people. I do not know where we shall end up, but I have a few friends here and there. Hmm... I will think on this.

What could possibly harm us here? This place is a fortress. And those assassins I ran into were jokes.

Whoops. It just occurred to me that we probably should have gone to see Gorion earlier. This dialogue makes more sense if we haven't been attacked yet. Oh well.

Candlekeep is indeed a formidable obstacle for ne'er-do-wells, but it is not insurmountable. No matter how thick the mesh, at least one mosquito always finds its way through. No, my child, we must leave as soon as possible, for our safety, and for that of our friends here.

So let's go, already.



Listen carefully. If we should ever become separated, it is imperative that you make your way to the Friendly Arm Inn. There, you will meet Khalid and Jaheira. They have long been my friends, and you can trust them.



Come quickly, child. The night can only get worse so we must find shelter soon. Don't worry, I will explain everything as soon as there is time. Wait, there is something wrong. We are in an ambush. Prepare yourself.





Jim gets hit by a spell first thing, and Gorion urges her to run away even as he starts casting his own spells.



He kills the two ogres and puts the woman to sleep, but none of his spells are enough to stop the armored figure. When he runs out, he charges the man with his knife, but is slain. Thus ends the prologue.





NEXT: A Badly Drawn Tree!

And now for an announcement: I've decided to take Shar-Teel out of the running. I've been thinking pretty much all week about how to manage it and the only way it would be possible is if we all agreed that we wanted to romance Shar-Teel and Xan and be unabashedly, unashamedly, Eeeeeeville the whole game through. And since Xan has nowhere near the same amount of votes as Coran, that's clearly not going to happen.



This is what I'm carrying right now. All I had initially was this stick that Gorion gave me. The gem Phlydia gave me in return for finding her book, the knives and hammer I found in the priests' quarters. What kind of priest carries a great big warhammer, though? I thought they all went in for clubs and maces and things? What I didn't find in there was Mrs. Stabby. She must be in the storage shed.



Hello and welcome to Mishi's Modded Miscellany. For our first installment, let's talk about the Infinite Ammo Stack component of the BGII tweakpack. In the base game you could only have up to 20 arrows in a bundle, which is somewhat realistic, but you've seen the inventory. If you're an archer you end up with half those little squares filled up with stacks of 20 arrows and it leaves no room for anything else, and that's not even taking into account all the different types of arrows. You got your regular arrows, your +1 arrows, your +2 arrows, your fire arrows, your acid arrows, your biting arrows. It's just much less hassle all around if you can have all your arrows of the same type in a single stack. I've also got the infinite gem stack component on and the infinite potion stack component.

Winthrop doesn't have much for sale, and we don't have much money. Once we sold the crap we picked up, we had just enough to get a shortbow, a stack of arrows and a set of leather armor.



We bring him his scroll, and the old guy casts Protection from Evil on us. Which would be great, if it lasted long enough to be of any use. In a previous playthrough I planned it so that I would have him cast that on me and then hightail it to the priests' quarters to face the assassin, but the spell expired before I got halfway there.



Ah, now this is more interesting. It's part of the Mini Quests and Encounters Mod.

Linda: If only that would be... You are Gorion's foster child, aren't you? Yes, I think I want to talk with you about it.

You can tell just by looking at me?

Linda: You don't look like a sage and you're not dressed richly enough to be a guest. I made an educated guess.

Oh. Fair enough. Continue.

Linda: Have you been to the infirmary? My fiance is recovering there from the injuries he got in his last fight.

No, I haven't spoken to him.

Linda: He has an obvious injury: he lost an arm. But the wounds that are still troubling him are his memories of what happened during this fight, and the conditions under which he lost that arm. I... I am troubled by it too. You see... I cut off his arm. It... it was the only thing to do.

Ha! How sweet. Is that some kind of courting ritual where you come from? (Never make the obvious assumption first. That's diplomacy, right?)

Linda: Keep your mockery to yourself, please. Of course it is not. We were on our way to Candlekeep, when suddenly a portal started opening near us. Monsters came out and started attacking. It was horrible. Sir Trun defended us, and it looked as if he would win easily. Then one of the creatures bit into his arm, dragging him toward the portal. He lost his sword...

Linda: There was only one possible way to save him, and I used it. Otherwise, he would be dead by now.

I don't get it. You saved his life. Would he rather have died?

Linda: No, it is not that easy. Sir Trun proposed to me, what seems like a long, long time ago, and we went on this educational journey to Candlekeep. You have to understand, I am the daughter of a noble family, and never touched any kind of weapon. His... his gaze upon me when he realized what happened...

Linda: Forgive me, but I do not want to talk more about it. I need to be patient, and hope that he will overcome his feelings. Poor Sir Trun... he is so brave. He grimly tries not to attribute any importance to the matter, but doesn't succeed in overcoming his feelings of horror. He is bound to his proposal to a woman he now fears, and is trying to convince himself it is nothing to worry about. I still see that look in his eyes...

So his precious flower turned out to have thorns and now he doesn't want you anymore? Sounds like a grade-A jerk to me. You're better off without him.

Linda: I decided not to go to the infirmary until someone brings the news of his recovery, or until he approaches me himself.

Oh, fine. I'll play cupid for you. It's not like I'm in a hurry or anything.



Reevor gives us 5 gp to kill the rats in the storehouse.



So this is how Wild Mages work: like all specialist mages, they get to cast one extra spell per level per day. Unlike other specialists, they aren't barred from any school of magic, because no school opposes their own. In exchange, every time they cast a spell, no matter what the spell, there's a small chance that it will go awry in a wide variety of ways, some of which are incredibly beneficial, some of which are terrible, and yes, it's possible for one of these mishaps to make a cow fall from the sky onto the target. We call these Wild Surges. There's also a first level spell called Nahal's Reckless Dweomer that nearly guarantees a wild surge.

But enough about magic, let's talk about rats. These rats are ridiculously tough. They only have about 6 HP each (which is more than Jim has in total) but their defense is ludicrously high.

Hey, I think these rats are tougher than that assassin was. That's really sad.



And there's the cat.

Now you show up?! I could have used your help just now! Whose job do you think it is to kill rats?

Mrs. Stabby: ... *preens, as though nothing is wrong*

What an impudent creature. *scoops cat up and pets her despite her protests* That's what you get for being lazy.



NEXT: Jim Becomes a Matchmaker!